The importance of psychotherapy
When recovering from an addiction, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of undertaking psychotherapy. People are usually afraid to turn to professionals for help, especially here in Greece, where there are still very conservative views regarding the need to visit a therapist. I feel quite fortunate to have a found a very capable and qualified therapist that has supported me a lot. In fact, I don’t think I would have lasted clean for so long, if it wasn’t for her support and guidance.
Psychotherapy will help you discover the underlying reasons for your addiction and will focus your therapy sessions on addressing these causes. Furthermore you will end up not only addressing your addiction, but in general making changes in your personal life for the better. This is something no e-book sold over the internet will help you with. Because most people with addictions keep the problem to their selves, a very important first step is to tell someone the problem, and their is no better person to open up to.
I have read many comments in forums that “I cant possibly afford a therapist because they charge so much!” (mine charges 100 euros per hour – approx USD 140) Well, it would be a wise idea to think how much money your addiction has cost you over the years. Whether its been (in my case) paying for sex-related activities, or if its been drugs, alcohol, gambling, smoking, etc you can be sure that the money you have spent on those is much more. Not to mention the fact the other financial damage you have done to your self. You have probably underperformed in your job, lost out on promotions and other successes, because you have been so caught up with your obsession. Some people say, therapists don’t deserve their money. Believe me, my therapist works very intensively for the one-hour session with me (and she probably has many other sessions each day) , and I am usually more tired than she is at the end of the session. In comparison, when you have a health problem and you go the doctor, you give him 50 euros (or more!) for a 10 minute session where he usually takes a brief glance at your results and ends up telling you something you have already figured out for yourself in the first place.
Therefore dont try to solve the problem and your own. Dont think buying an Addiction Recovery book is sufficient. Seek a qualified psychotherapist who has experience in treating addictions!
I’ve just stumbled across this site and am impressed so far. You make a good case for this as an addiction. May I engage you a little on this? I’m curious about your repsonse.
I wonder whether it could be thought of another way just as convincingly. For instance, maybe your behaviour can be seen as a symptom produced by poor emptional regulation (as you say, happy or sad ones). So, one person falls into a deprssion, another binge eats, yet another, hits the kids or lives for his job…you visited prostitutes. Why ‘addiction’?
Interesting question. I guess my response would be that
1. My addiction was not just about visiting prostitutes. It involved a range of activities such as very frequent masturbation (near daily), daily online surfing for porn, frequent attempts to meet strangers through internet chatting and adult sites, and visiting prostitutes. Visiting prostitutes may have not been a daily activity, but my obsession with sex-related activities like the ones decribed above were daily regardless of my moods.
2. Over time my addiction (especially visits to prostitutes) became more and more frequent, as well as more expensive. Ten years ago, i would visit a prostitute every six months. Over the years this became more and more frequent and by the end, my visits were at least 2-3 (if not more) in a given month. Also near the end I was spending more and more money on “premium services” such as so called high-class escorts rather than going to cheap brothels. I felt as if I needed to continuously increase my dosage and the supposed quality of the sex services to satisfy myself.
I also want to emphasise that I hadn’t realised that my visits were often related to my emotions until I started therapy. My therapist told me to keep a diary of events so that we could track what events triggered the urges. Thats when I was first able to relate that my moods could trigger my visits.
I hope that I’ve been able to answer your question, perhaps I can ask my therapist for her opinion and on what basis she diagnosed me with sex addiction
Thanks for that. It certainly sounds ike the way alcolholism, etc. are explained. But you have got me wondering – several others ‘conditions’ are like that too. Consider the anorexic. Everything in their lives revolves around it. Or evern the depressive – nothing with stop a depressive from entering a depression. Perhaps it would be useful to expand the notion of addiction to include any out of control ‘pursuit’.
This is an interesting issue you raise, how does one define “addiction”? Personally, I am in favour of broadening the definition, because this way it is easier to raise awareness among people affected by such problems as the ones you describe above
I think it’s fairly clear that all of these psychological issues are related. Everyone is dealing with the same issues: societal acceptance, looking for love, self image, etc., etc. It just depends on one’s particular background how one chooses to deal with these issues. Some people become anorexics, others become obsessive-compulsives, others become “addicts” in the traditional sense (alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex). At least, that’s how I understand it. I’m certainly no expert.
[...] and Addiction There’s an interesting post over on exaddict’s blog regarding the importance of psychotherapy. While I don’t [...]
Psychotherapy and Addiction « Quitting Pornography said this on November 27, 2007 at 3:32 pm |