Progress Report
Its been nearly three months since I first visited a therapist, and I am already eight weeks into my recovery program. Overall, I can say that I am very happy with my progress. Every Monday, when I visit my therapist, I am happy to be able to add another seven days to my clean record. I have had some slips (like pursuing contacts via internet, or some masturbation in the early weeks), which in the context of the recovery phase is something to be expected.
What hasn’t really changed are my urges and thoughts related to my sex addiction. These are still present, every day, and I cant say that they are less than they were two months ago. I am happy to say that I usually pass over these urges and just get on with my life by keeping myself busy. However I have been troubled why the urges don’t go away. My therapist says its far too early for these thoughts to go away, after all they were part of my life for so many years, they cant just go away in two months. It would be wrong to refuse their presence, because then you are admitting that you are not really over the problem. In a sense, I am undergoing a period of mourning.
It is important to treat these thoughts in the same way we treat hundreds of other silly thoughts each day in our life. For example I might walk by a pizza restaurant which may make me desire a pizza. However, I know that I wont actually end up buying a pizza. Treat your urge as a “want” but not something that you “need”. It is no problem to admit that you “want” it. After all that’s why you were addicted in the first place! Just tell yourself that you don’t need it. Separating the wants from the needs has helped me a lot in these first months.
Leave a Reply