Whores are Whores
I am sorry if the title of this post offends you. It’s just that I really want to say this as bluntly as possible: Whores are Whores.
I am reaching out to all those sex addicts and people in recovery trying to break free from their whore addiction. I don’t feel like using polite names for them like prostitute, escort, call girl, masseuse, hooker, working girl etc. I am tired of being politically correct.
Sex addicts look for excuses to continue doing what they are doing by bullshitting themselves: She is a masseuse and she doesn’t get paid for sex. Therefore its OK if I do something with her. After all she claims to be very selective and gets sexual only with very special clients. And I guess you are Mr.Hotshot that got lucky with her. Well guess what five other sad morons got the same treatment today from her. Face it she is not a masseuse she is a whore!
And what about that chick that offers the “girlfriend experience” on her website. Its not exactly like going to a prostitute is it? Of course it is, she’s still a whore because there is no such thing as the girlfriend experience. I suppose you are giving her the boyfriend experience, and she is feeling really intimate with you! Face it, she is a whore and she’s getting paid to have sex with you.
And then there’s that escort only charges for her time and for companionship. Yeah right, if she only charges for her time would you pay 200 bucks to go for a walk in the park with her? I don’t think so. You are paying a whore to have sex with you.
Do I need to mention the female profiles on dating websites looking for generous men for casual relationships? They are whores as well.
I agree. They are whores — skanky, homewrecking, morally corrupt, evil whores. Amen.
Dude, I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but they are PEOPLE, just as f-ed up as the men who pay to have sex with them. You shouldn’t be using them because they are people not to be objectified, and that is how you should treat humanity. You shouldn’t be using them because you shouldn’t reduce yourself to a sexual object either. It is a sad and painful industry for men and women alike. For instance, http://www.shelleylubben.com/blog/index.php
I think what the author is trying to say is that they are whores, not escorts or whatever fantasy bullshit the sex addict tries to justify his behavior with. They are whores, yes people, but whores. A drug dealer is not a junky’s “friend”, for example. Addicts like to justify their behavior by thinking these people care about them. No they dont. They just want to get paid, plain and simple. They could care less about you. Also, everyone has a CHOICE of what they do with their life to earn money. Personally, I don’t feel sorry for whores or drug dealers. They are responsible for destroying not only their own lives, but countless others. Anyone can get a “real job”. Hell, everyone else has to.
As a sex addict, and a female sex addict at that, I get what you’re trying to say, but I don’t think that degrading women helps anything. Some of those women are just as bad off as you are, if not worse. They have messed up lives, too, and part of their addictive process is sometimes sex.
I used sex as a drug and to feel accepted for a brief moment. Once I was done, I was ashamed of my behavior and wanted the guy to leave immediately. I technically used these men. Some of them may have been looking for love or someone who cared for them (their problem), but I was only looking for what was going to soothe me (my problem). We’ve all got problems and issues. Since I’ve admitted that I am a sex addict, I try not to be too quick to judge other people. I don’t know what their background is or the reasons that they do the things they do. They don’t know my story either and why I do the things I do. Until you take the time to sit down and think outside of yourself, it’s sometimes quick to judge.
I’m not bashing you. You’re entitled to your opinion and this is your blog, so I applaud that you can say anything that you want. I just want to give another opinion.
What is so degrading about calling a whore for what she is? A whore. In the dictionary, a whore means a prostitute. It is what it is. One may not like the term, but its reality.
Interesting dialogue going on here…
Let me clarify a few things: If you have a look at past posts you will notice that I was rather sympathetic to whores/ prostitutes etc. You can check out my post on trafficking http://sexaddiction.wordpress.com/2008/02/12/trafficking/
or my experience with a drug addict
http://sexaddiction.wordpress.com/2007/12/09/the-time-i-turned-down-the-druggie/
In fact I was very cautious and did not in any way want to offend them. I felt as it wasn’t their fault, and in a way they had been part of my life for so long, they had given so much relief, I felt that I owed them something.
But after a year, I realise that even now my mind plays games with me. I still look for excuses to go back to them. And I realise that the only way to break this bond is to stop teasing myself and face the fucking truth. They are not friends, they are not pals, they are not good company, but they are the source of my misery and I dont ever want to interact with any one of them again.
I understand what you’re trying to get across…..that if you call them whores and realize that they don’t “give a rat’s ass” (pardon the French) about you, then it will break your bond to them. However, instead of just flat out saying that they’re whores, they’re really people, just wrapped up in their own life’s problems and drama. They may use sex to act out. They may use sex to get money for drugs, which may be their primary addiction. They may have been sexually abused as a child and may act out through this, but not get close enough to a man to emotionally let him hurt her. Whores aren’t whores. They’re not your friends either. They’re just people, like me and you, who have their own problems and issues in life and are trying to get by like the rest of us.
Also, I wanted to make a note on SA Wife’s comment earlier. I had two different affairs with married men both during my highest points of acting out at a sex addict. I didn’t care about myself much at that time, much less wives or children of these men. The second one ended up in a partial breakup of their marriage (granted, this was his third time cheating on her). So, technically I’m a homewrecker. Does that make me a whore, too?
Female Sex Addict, no it does not make you a whore, unless you were paid to have sex with them. Nevertheless, exaddict did not put a “value” on whores. He merely said that they are there for one purpose and that purpose is what contributes to the addiction of sex, which is why he and other sex addicts should not elevate them to the level that they often are elevated to. I think we can all agree here, that a whore is a prostitute and that sex addicts who frequent them are often in denial of what their purpose is. I, on the other hand, having had my marriage torn apart by the fantasy of prostitution am plainly not sympathetic to their choice of profession. No one put a gun to their heads (except in extreme cases of sex trafficking) and told them they had to have sex to earn a living. I am not sympathetic to the drug-addicted whore either. Why should I feel sorry for someone who is so selfish as to hurt their families and other families so they can use? I do not claim to be perfect, not at all. I also have been with two married men in my early 20’s. I know what my issues were. Doesn’t make it OK that I “went there” in order to fill the emptiness inside. I didn’t “homewreck” their homes, but it was certainly possible. I’m sure I contributed to their misery. Addiction makes people do things they never thought they would do. Regardless, it’s still selfish, still full of lies, and still wildly hurtful to others. And it is up to the addict to change him/herself or forgive him/herself. It is not up to us as a society to enable them or justify their behavior as something they don;t have a choice as to whether they do or not. Furthermore, whores are not all sex addicts or drug addicts. Once again, it all comes down to choices and they choose to sell their bodies for sex. Just as a drug dealer chooses to sell drugs. Just as a gang member chooses to kill for fun. Just my own opinion, folks.
Interesting conversation. Many definitions of whore say “usually for money”. As the author states, a whore is a whore. As others state, they are people too. I’d be willing to bet I had a worse childhood and young adulthood than many, many whores out there. I didn’t choose to wreck marriages, get paid to defile my body or get paid (or just want to) to preform sexual acts with complete strangers. Somewhere, personal accountability needs to come into play. A person makes a decision. Some people decide to be whores. If you make such a decision, then why be upset when someone calls you on it? People ask why did you decide to become a lawyer. Why get upset when someone asks why you decided to be a whore? Is it the word that bothers people so much? How quaint and delightfully archaic. Quibble over the hurt such a word might brand people with but not so much the pain inflicted by their willful actions because their really just victims too in this totally unfair world that might expect them to attempt to be productive and follow the golden rule. Admittedly, as one hurt repeatedly by such “people” and an SA, I may not have the most unbiased opinion here. But you know what, everything has a name. A spade is a spade.
Thanks Talie for saying things as they are. Everyone is accountable for their own decisons – and they should face up to reality. Same way whores should accept that that’s what they are, the same way the men that go with them (or generally any man or woman who cheats on someone) should accept that they themselves are responsible for their actions and decisions…
Sadly I found out this site is because I’m a victim of a hooker addiction.
My husband has been so call escorting the whole time we’ve been together.
I got herpes from him and started to suspect him. (FYI I only have 2 sexual partners in my whole life and the 1st one is a virgin so when I got the STD I knew it was my husband right away ). Anyways, I found out he’s buying hookers thur some ” hobbyist ” website and by accident I got into his account ( he forget to log out ) and see the conversation how he set up a meeting with a hooker 2 days pior I found it out.
He confessed to me he has to constantly going back to see hookers every now and then and has this urge that I could not understand. I do not understand what make him stop interested to have sex with me anymore (that we only have sex like once a month since he’s not interested no matter how I initiate it ). I know that I’m an attractive woman, a sweet positive person with good fit figure. I lost all my confident on myself after i know he perfer hookers than me. I started to blame myself for not as sexy as hookers, or can’t do those sexy dance like them.
I told myself what he did is the most selfish thing – he’s not only put him own health into risk but put mines into risk. He is NOT USING PROTECTION when he recieve oral sex from hookers that he is letting the urge for sexual excitment toward hookers control his brain.
I told myself to be strong and leave him asap, but I’m just so painful and isolated at this moment.
On the whore topic again…..so, sex addicts have a bad rap. Face it, in society, sex addicts are typically seen as seedy people…men leering at women all the time; men leering at children; men in trenchcoats exposing themselves; women who are homewreckers; men and women (usually men) hunched in a dark room with a lamp on masturbating to porn; men in cars, going down dark, shady roads to pick up hookers; drunk mean leering at strippers in a club; women who are sluts and will sleep with anyone. Any number of things. In SA, we learn that WE are not these things. Our addiction is. We learn not to judge others. We learn not to judge when another member tells his/her story of how they realized they were a sex addict, no matter how ridiculous or horrifying their story was. We look BEYOND the addiction. We look beyond what’s on the outside and what the person portrays to see the REAL person on the inside.
When I’m acting out, I’m a total BITCH. Cocky, arrogant, invincible, not vulnerable to anybody or anything. Yet deep down inside, I’m none of these things. Just because a stripper/prostitute, escort, masseuse, etc acts this way, doesn’t mean that she ISN’T a real person who has feelings. A real person who may be drowning a history of sexual abuse by acting out with men and getting paid for it. Who are we to judge? All of us addicts have done the same thing. We acted out, but we didn’t get paid for it. Many of us wrecked homes, including our own, but didn’t get paid for it. May of us contracted and spread STDs just like the “hookers” mentioned, but we didn’t get paid for it.
Maybe I just feel that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Admitting I have a sexual addiction problem has truly made me become a better person. I was the most judgemental bitch I ever knew before. I still can be when my addict comes out. But more and more I notice myself observing people, wondering what that person was like as a child or what things that they’ve been through in their lives. Just like people who don’t know me can make snap judgements about me, they don’t know what I’ve been through. They don’t know what my childhood was like. They don’t know what I go through now. So, who am I, or any of us, to judge?
Oh, and I wanted to say to depressvictim. As an addict, and a married one at that, you come before your marriage. You are your top priority. Some good resources for you to get through are a counselor who specializes in sex addiction treatment and an S-Anon group. The counselor who specializes in sex addiction will help you through this. He/she will help you realize, it’s not about you. You aren’t unworthy of being loved. You aren’t ugly. You aren’t a bad person. You have a RIGHT to be angry and a right to your feelings. Sometimes as an addict, no matter how much we love our spouse, our addiction overpowers that. There’s a quote from an addict’s autobiography which may help:
“For my addiction is stronger than my love for you, even though I love you more than my addiction.”
S-Anon groups can also help. There are many men and women in these groups who have been through what you’ve been through or worse. And they’ve survived. Some are still with their spouses, some have left their spouses. Some are family members who don’t know how to deal with the addict. These people are here for you to help you. They will welcome you with open arms and you’ll feel a place of comfort and belonging. A place where people understand you. A place where you can be brutally honest and no one judges you.
I hope that you can receive the help that you need to get through this trying time.
Well, Geeeeez…glad we got THAT cleared up…
Just don’t EVEN get me started…
Get started on what?
wow, talk about complicated.
I suppose that people could argue all day about titles. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is this:
Many people who spend their on the sex industry are messed up (home-wrecking, sex addicted, possibly abused people)
Many people who work in the sex industry are also messed up (home-wrecking, sex addicted, possibly abused people)
The bottom line is this: we are all people. We are all messed up. Some more than others. But let’s not get to obsessed with the titles or with who’s more messed up than who.
I’m not saying anyone’s more or less messed up than anyone else. I’m just saying why judge? We’re all humans. We’re all messed up. Don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house. I try not to.
*sigh* Spade.
Snore. This is getting old. Ditto, Talie.
whores are whores, lawyers are lawyers, etc. sure. but it’s about our recovery, and an important part of that is not replacing lust with bitterness and hatred. isn’t that just more co-dependency? I think realizing “the girlfriend experience” was a big lie is secondary in recovery to realizing you are broken and need help and healing and having a change in how you perceive humanity in general.
If it’s getting old, don’t read it and move on. Let those that still want to say something on it say something.
Amen about not replacing lust with bitterness and hatred.
The author of this blog is anything but bitter and hateful. Maybe you should reread his post over and over again until you can see what his actual intentions are. He is merely being honest, not resentful, something all addicts should aspire to.
Do whores accept credit cards, and put something else as a charge? Like a cover up. My husband had a very odd charge?
Yes. It might even say something so random like Famhouse Get the address and phone number and then google it.Drive down, call and go inside.
I myself never paid with a credit card, but I know that some agencies/ parlours accept them. However odd charges can be a number of things like: internet subscription to porn sites, dating sites, casinos etc.
Is anyone able to email you, to ask some questions?
of course you can email me at exaddict76@yahoo.com. Be patient if I dont reply straight away, I dont check that email every day
I am reading this blog because I was researching new information on my agency and I must say that I am both sad and intrigued… this industry is like any other business. It has its good side and its bad side. I am the owner of a high-end agency in NY and we run it like a well oiled machine. Most of my models are actual college girls paying tuition or having money to play…most of my clients are upper class and none of my models are ever abused by anyone… for I make it my business to meet all clients and pay off the right people.
I hope my simple yet sincere comment is not taken our of proportion.
Metro.
i know this post is old but…. i used to be a whore. but that is not all i am. actually now i am a normal person, you would never know. never. but i had a a bad couple of years and i was a whore. and what you
Hey, I dont know if it will help anyone, but I found these guys in the UK who helped me lose my escort addiction.. http://www.no-more-escorts.com . They use hypnosis, and the effects were really quick and it was very easy just listening to some sessions that I downloaded from their website.
good luck everyone….Pete
My husband has a sexual addiction to prostitutes for 30 years. It took me 25 years to find this out. He has destroyed me physically and emotionally. It’s so refreshing to see men trying to recover from this demoralizing and decaying addiction. Please continue to post more info and bold feelings as this is healing for us wives as well.