Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Carrying on from my previous post, I want to talk a bit more about STDs. We are living in the age of AIDS, and it seems to me we have forgotten that AIDS is not the only STD out there. We all obsessed about how we could contract HIV, and safely assumed that if we protect ourselves from AIDS, we were shielded from all other STDs.
STDs have been around forever, unlike AIDS which is a post-1980 thing. In fact AIDS is longer considered a life threatening disease (at least not in the western world). However no-one talks about the HPV virus that can trigger cervical cancer as well as other types of cancer. Why don’t we talk about Chlamydia and Gonorrhea that can cause permanent damage to the reproductive system? Worst of all a lot these diseases can be asymptomatic. We can be carriers and pass them on to others. The diseases are not always detected in diagnostic tests.
Unlike AIDS, you don’t need direct sexual contact or open wounds to get some STD’s (such as HPV) They can be contracted by oral sex and simply contact of the genital area. And that’s why sex addicts naively assume that they are not at risk from contracting an STD. As long you use a condom you are not at risk – which is total bullshit. Furthermore it seems that all those whores that market themselves as some glamorous top model escorts that provide premium services are the filthiest and dirtiest. They offer various extra services like unprotected oral sex. They are not licensed prostitutes and therefore never get tested.
How has this changed my outlook on things? My girlfriend is still struggling to deal with the various crap I gave her over the years. She may not have had cervical cancer in the end, but she still has a serious condition triggered by an STD. My latest experience has made me realize how filthy this whole prostitution thing was. Every time I think of a prostitute I think of pure filth and dirt. And I guess in the context of my recovery, it’s another good method to scare away the bad urges.
I don’t expect that a sex addict will change their behavior after reading this post. Addiction is too strong to be put off. Just how a smoker carries on smoking although he/she knows that they could cause cancer to themselves and others around them, just how a druggie knows that the next hit could be fatal, they still carry on doing it. But we must all realize that sex addicts and prostitutes are carrying diseases and they should accept responsibilities for their behavior.
As a woman, its very scary to think how easy it is to ‘catch’ an STD. However i have another comment to make about men. As women we have ‘educated’ to do regular check ups and PAP tests. But what about men? After all they also ‘catch’ STDs and ‘carry’ them…. how can men ensure they are OK – or rather, do any men do regular check ups of this sort, to ensure they are OK?
One of the problems is that not all STDs are detectable. For example there is no test that can detect HPV in males, and therefore if they dont have symptoms thay cant realise that they are passing it on. Of course there are tests for other STDs and its up to each ne of us to go and get tested and to minimise any risks.
My partner is a sex addict and I have just found out that I may have HPV that I got from an affair he had http://betrayedbycybersex.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/bad-newsi-hope-not/
I’m devasted. You think you’re finally making headway as a couple and then this blow happens. I can’t get away from the pain of this addiction. I’m trying…
Hi I am recovering sexaholic. Probably the only reason I never pursued an affair was fear of disease but I know that is where my life was heading. I thank God that I never had to go through the dreaded test and waiting for the results. I will pray for you and your girlfriend.
I’m one of the, uh, “pure filth and dirt” ones, but I do get tested, and quite regularly. Testing doesn’t prevent infection, of course, but I had to at least argue that misinformed point.
Good luck with your struggle against addiction. It’s tough.
Sincerely,
Carrie Hillcrest (former smoker, current potential disease vector)
Carrie hillcrest needs to go to hell.
Thanks for all your comments:
@betrayedbycybersex: I know that its a blow, but if you really want to test the strengths of your relationship, this is what it will take.
@Fear from the storm: Good luck in your recovery. Hope to read more of your blog posts. Consider yourself fortunate that you realised your problem before it led to acting out with other sex partners.
@Carrie Hillcrest: Its good that you do regular STD tests, but it really is up to each prostitute to make that decision. You still are at an extremely high-risk if you perform unprotected services to your clients who do the same things with lots of other prostitutes, masseuses, strippers etc.
By the way I’ve removed your link from my blog. People turn to this blog for help and not to seek sex services.
Fair enough about the link — I didn’t think about that, and I agree that removing it is a wise decision considering the focus of your blog and the readers it attracts.
I am well aware of the risks of my profession (why do you think I get tested so often?); my contention was with your untrue and, frankly, rude statements concerning myself and my fellow adult service providers. I know you may need to malign us to aid your recovery, but insults still ruffle my feathers.